Let me start by saying the blogging community is amazing! These past six months have been nothing but refreshing and kind to me because of blogging. There is a place for everyone in the blogging community whatever gender, size, race, age, or niche. But what if like me, sometimes you feel a little out of the loop? It can feel like you're a bit lost sometimes.
You see I'm a plus size girl, and a blogger. But not a 'Plus Size Blogger'.. Or am I? I'm not sure of the rules. I'm a UK size 16-18 depending on the store and how my boobs are feeling on the day, lol. There are so many beautiful, inspiring and just lovely plus size bloggers out there who do their thing brilliantly and leave you feeling better as a plus size girl, if you need it. The reason I feel a little outside of any particular blogging niche though, is that I'm not sure where I fit! For lack of a better pun..
Because although I fit the physical criteria, I definitely don't fit the mental criteria for a PS blogger, I don't think so anyway. You see I'm not happy being this size, I'm very insecure and I doubt I could inspire anyone. Let me just say right now though, this is NOT to say I think people should fit a certain size standard, and there are so many plus size women I can think of who are sexy, confident and perfect just the way they are. In fact, I'm jealous of anyone comfortable in their own skin. Whether its someone of a size 6, or a size 20. But me? Well no, I'd much rather I was a little smaller, stronger and healthier. And I do think I'd be happier then with my own body. But that's just me, I'm not saying there's any right or wrong here.
So plus size bloggers are a wonderful thing, but they seem miles away from where I'm at. Who would I be to encourage anyone to feel good in their own skin, when I don't? And I don't usually blog about being plus size, or any of the issues regarding being PS before now. So it feels like I'm not putting myself in the right category if I say I'm a PS blogger.
Sometimes I even find myself feeling restricted when blogging. Outfits of the day are popular among all bloggers, from small to larger lovelies. And I love seeing them, getting inspired by them and taking some tips. God knows I could use it, haha. I'd love to do some myself, but I find myself always shying away from it whenever the thought occurs. I find myself feeling just outside the loop of Fashion bloggers and Plus Size Fashion bloggers. I'm too big for one, and not open or confident enough for the other. I'm a blogger who likes to blog about everything, except the one thing that leaves me feeling insecure.
I look forward to going to my first blogger event one day, hopefully soon. But I do worry I'll stick out like a sore thumb. I do worry people will be judging me, or mentally putting me in the PS blogger category, which would be great if I felt I fit in with them. But as we've established, I feel outside the group there too.
You may think I'm silly for thinking this way, and maybe I am. But I did just want to voice some of these thoughts I have, and wonder if anyone else feels this way too? Also please, please do not think this is a whining 'oh woe is me' post. I genuinely just want to share my views, express my feelings and include this part of me on my blog. After all this is my little home :)
So let me know all your thoughts! And also THANK YOU so much for reading this!
A while back whilst going through a break up etc. I put on some weight and went up to a size 14. I know this isn't big by any means but I'd always been a size 10-12 so I was annoyed with myself that I'd let that happen. Since, I've joined a gym and reigned in my diet and lost nearly 2st. I'm smaller than I was initially and I've never felt better. My mental health, fitness and general life has improved dramatically all from doing an hours exercise 2-3 times a week. If you're feeling down about your size I really couldn't recommend anything better. Yes it's hard at the start but in my opinion it's the best thing ever. You're a gorgeous girl and nothing should stop you posting what you want! But if you do feel paranoid maybe a lifestyle change would help? I hope I don't sound like I'm having a go, it's just it's really worked for me ! xxx
ReplyDeleteAisling | rosysmiles.blogspot.co.uk
Not at all, thank you so much for leaving your thoughts! :) I've been making lots of changes the past few months, and I can see it's helping in so many ways which is great. I hope I can keep going.. :) I just wanted to voice some of my thoughts on 'plus size blogging' too xx
DeleteGreat post Jemma and I can really feel where you are coming from. I am the same sort of size as you and feel the same way. I am not a plus size blogger because as I speak I am eating a salad and have been to the gym four times this week as I am trying to loose weight.
ReplyDeleteI am due to go to a blogger meet up in November and I am scared that I will feel out of place and didn't put myself forward for an event near me that I would have loved to go on because of how I feel about not fitting in.
But when I looked at the photo's from that event I saw women of all sizes so I feel a little better about it.
You should do some outfit posts if you want to, in fact you should be able to blog about anything you want to.
Plus always remember you are beautiful on the inside and the outside no matter your size.
Thanks doll! I try not to let it hold me back, but sometimes it kind of does. Im making lots of positive changes which is great, but I just wanted to voice some of these issues too :) Thanks for commenting! xx
DeleteFrom personal experience I can tell you that loosing weight won't always give you confidence, I've been there as a size 14, then down to a size 8 and I still wasn't happy. Now I'm a size 12 and I'm definitely not 100% confident or happy but I am starting to feel a bit better about myself and realising that I don't need to be a certain size to be happy. OOTD are still out of my comfort zone though, but blogging is slowly but surely helping me gain confidence and feel a bit better about myself as each post goes up.
ReplyDeleteI feel like you don't need to limit yourself to a certain criteria, I never think of PS Bloggers in that way, as in that's all they're good at because it's simply not true! Your good at so many different types of posts that I've reason here; you can do beauty ones and quirky ones so well, that I'm sure if you tried to an OOTD you would do it in your own style and it would turn out great. Maybe it will be to inspire others but most importantly I think if you really want to do one it will inspire you and give you confidence even if you might be scared and feel out of place at first.
Sorry if this comment is just all over the place, when it comes to this kind of topic I just have so much in my head that I want to jot down. So I guess what I'm saying is don't feel out of place or like you need to be part of a certain group because of your size. At the end of the day were all bloggers here, all different but at the same time were all part of the same community. And if you want to do OOTD posts don't feel like you need to meet a certain criteria or you need to do it to give other people inspiration. Do it for yourself :)! x
Beauty with charm
Not at all lovely, thank you so much for reading and leaving your thoughts! I think I just worry too much sometimes and my insecurities get the best of me. Trying to change that though :) <3 xx
DeleteSuch a relatable post! I'm not necessarily the same size as you but I do feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I find myself constantly comparing myself to my friends and other bloggers, even wishing I could be more like them but at the end of the day it's our differences that make us who we are and our blogs unique. It's just hard accepting that sometimes but it's always something I try to keep in mind x
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Lexie! <3 I know it can feel a little intimidating and we set all these restrictions for ourselves for no reason. I hope I can change that but I just wanted to voice some of the thoughts I'd had for a while.. xx
DeleteI loved your post Jemma! Honestly don't worry about people judging you when you go to your first blogger event, I was so nervous the first time I went to one as I thought people would judge me but everyone is always so lovely, so don't worry about it at all! I really hope that one day you do some outfit posts as it would be great for you to not feel restricted when blogging and they would be great to see!
ReplyDeleteAlso I love you sharing personal things like this on your blog, makes me get to know you better <3 and LOVE the Emma Stone quote!
Rebecca xx
You are so lovely! <3 Thank you Rebecca! My insecurities get the best of me at times, and I hope I can change that as soon as possible. I just have to remember everyone feels like this at some point, in some way. Also, I do really want to go to a blogger event! So I'll be brave and go to one as soon as I can. Thank you for being so understand and lovely <3 xx
DeleteJemma, thank you so much for your post. I can 100% relate to you, I am a size 14-18, always depends. Skinny legs (Size 12) but tops can be anything from 14-18 depending on my boobs. I love fashion and would like to be more creative, post OOTD and be more in pictures on my blog BUT I am just too self-conscious. There are all those skinny, pretty bloggers out there and I wish I would be one of them but I am not. I am currently trying to lose weight and blogging is a big motivation for me. Even though I am plus size, I don't describe myself as a plus size blogger either. I am not. I am glad I found your blog and I am looking forward to further posts.
ReplyDeleteGerman Girl in London
Aww Nadine thank you for reading this, and even more so for leaving your thoughts! <3 I know exactly how you feel! Hopefully we will let go of our worries and wont feel restricted. It can be pretty intimidating though for sure. xxxx
DeleteI think most people are self conscious about something but just remember, we all read your blog and follow you because we love it and like getting to know the person themselves! :) I'd love to see some outfit ideas at some point! Xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Becky, obviously you're right haha! I need to keep reminding myself everyone has been nothing but lovely in my time blogging, and I need to stop worrying and over thinking :) xx
DeleteReading this has given me confidence, thank you Jemma, you're beautiful.
ReplyDeleteSummer. lifeassummer.com
I can totally relate to your thoughts Jemma. I also lack body confidence and would love to do OOTD posts but just don't feel I have the confidence and charisma to pull these posts off. Like Pam, I am also pushing myself out of my comfort zone to attend the bloggers meet up because if I don't, then will I ever?!
ReplyDeleteI am trying to be healthier but it is hard and a long road to travel. Hopefully one day I will be at a place where I am happy with myself and I hope the same for you. You are beautiful anyway hun :) xx
Brenda BusyBee
I feel exactly the same way as you. I wish I was confident enough to post OOTD! I do try to take pictures but then I always think it doesn't look as nice as others, blablabla. I hope we both can get over our 'fears' or get more confident!
ReplyDeleteGreat post tho! <3
http://thatssomontse.blogspot.co.uk
xx
I'm exactly the same. I really want to do plus size fashion posts and I own so many clothes but I always wear the same outfits because I feel too fat in anything else and not comfortable with how I look.
ReplyDeleteBeth x
Mermaid in Disguise
Hi Jemma,
ReplyDeleteI've just found your blog through Twitter and wanted to let you know that I think this post is fantastic! I'm very new to the blogosphere and until now had not even heard of the term 'plus size blogger' so it goes without saying I have a lot of catching up to do. That being said, I can completely relate to how you're feeling here - I've recently started altering my lifestyle by eating healthier foods and exercising and decided to start a blog to help keep me inspired and on track, but I do struggle to feel 'part of the group' when I see the lovely outift and fashion posts some of my favourite bloggers publish. Hopefully one day soon we'll both feel a little better about ourselves and comfortable in our skin but until then, just know that you're not alone and that your readers encourage you to blog about whatever your heart desires :)
I wish you all the best!
Angelina | The Happy Confidential
What a sweet post! I think you will find the older you get and the more you blog your confidence might grow? It did for me. I felt so silly in the blogging community at first but 18 months on I feel so much better about myself all thanks to my blog!
ReplyDeleteAll the best x
http://confessionalprofessionaldramaqueen.blogspot.co.uk
I honestly couldn't agree more with a lot of the points you've talked about - so honest of you. As a plus size mummy I feel so mediocre compared the the slim, glam and other mummy bloggers - they all have perfect outfits and all look gorgeous and 'yummy mummy'... as a new mum, and a new blogger it is all a little scary.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mummybexm.co.uk/
The hall we booked had the maximum capacity of about 150 people. Having a limit like that has its pros and cons, but more pros. It definitely helps keep the team building events list on check!
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