1. You would rather deal with shitty self checkout than a human being.
2. You've made up an excuse to leave a social situation early, because too much interaction is just not going to work for you.
3. When friends call you, you hang up and text them, asking what they want (Sorry!).
4. You wear headphones just to stop strangers from talking to you.
5. You regularly want to punch people in the face.
6. When even your friends cancel on you, you aren't that heartbroken.
7. If you do make plans with a friend, and they suddenly decide to bring someone else; this can ruin your day. This person is not of my my small circle of thoroughly chosen friends!
8. Working in retail is literally your worst nightmare.
9. ..And if you have to, it'll make you hate people even more.
10. If you can't order it online, you don't buy it.
11. You avoid eye contact with your neighbours from fear they may try talk to you.
12. April Ludgate is your spirit animal.
Seriously I want to marry April Ludgate and then never talk to each other.
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