A Letter To My Younger Self

What would you say if you could go back & tell that little girl anything?

*Oh wow, this photo.

Dear Jemma,

Hey! You're around 5 in this photograph, so right now is pretty awesome. You're happy, you're confident and home is pretty great. I wish I could say that lasts forever, but that's not true. I want you to stay confident though! Somehow you lose that along the way, I wish I knew what to say to change that. 

You are at your best when you are being yourself, and just having fun. Climb those trees, paint, be spontaneous and make the most of your friends. 

You should always love yourself, someone is gonna come along in the far future and make you think you aren't as good. It wont be obvious, but they'll start chipping away at the edges of you, making you question everything about yourself, and changing yourself. Don't do this, don't allow it. Don't give everything of yourself away, ever.

Stay close to mum, try to keep her feeling special and loved. She's gonna need it, unfortunately. I wish you could open her eyes to what's happening, but you cant. Just be with her along the way. Talk to her more, and remind her of life's little joys.

Forgive your Dad, quicker. And spend every single day telling him about yourself. Show him what you can do, show him who you are, what you're interested in. He knows you love him, but for some reason you never let yourself be silly, childish, honest, around him. I don't know why. Maybe you get so worried about making him proud, that you want to always appear grown up. Stop worrying, be yourself, he's your hero and he's gonna love you always. Even when he seems mad.. even when you get piercings and tattoos and he's really mad! 

Just.. tell him you love him again and again and again and again. And really listen when he tells you how proud he is. Because years later you will doubt it, even though you shouldn't. It will haunt you otherwise.

As for your student years - You're gonna love college so much, you'll miss it always afterwards. You'll make friends for life, brilliant memories, great work, have adventures, get in trouble and more. I wouldn't change a thing about this.

Uni.. look just don't go to Bolton. You end up regretting it so much. It ruins a good chunk of your life. It's not all bad memories, the first year had hella good moments, but all in all, it's a change I'd make. Choose another Uni. Go somewhere far, move away! Have an adventure! 

As for the rest... you got this. It all turns out fine, don't worry.

Things always get better, no matter how bad it seems.

So just enjoy it!

Love.. Jemma, just over 20 years later.