10 Steps To Self Love

I have hated myself in the past. 
I have loathed looking in the mirror.
I have felt lonely and unwanted in even the biggest group of friends.
I have felt very, very small.

I have avoided trying to make plans with friends, because I have assumed they won't want to see me anyway. I have cancelled plans last minute, because a bad feeling can turn into full on anxiety and resistance to leave the house. I have walked through crowds with my head down, trying to breathe and trying not to panic that everyone is looking at me. I've experienced a time where I really didn't love myself.

It would be easy to assume this post, '10 Steps To Self Love'; is about to make out like self love is an easy journey. I would understand if people seen this title and thought it would be a list of superficial ways to feel a bit better about yourself.

But that is not my intention, because that would be so belittling.

Loving yourself is a constant journey we all experience, and some of us are unfortunate enough to sometimes slip into this dark place where all we see is the bad. The world is tainted when you hate yourself, or disregard your own worth.

Today I hope to share with you ten things that have made me feel like I'm progressing into a healthier state of mind. Ten steps that have felt like I'm a little lighter, a little more open to the world. Ten steps I have had to push myself through to get where I am now. I'm sure there will be more steps along my way. But here is the progress I've made so far.

The Self Love Tag

I was kindly tagged by the gorgeous Danielle over at Underland To Wonderland to do this, and it seems like quite a different and fun tag to do! Happy to give it a go, so let's get started! :)

1. What does self-love mean to you?

It means appreciating things about yourself and being as positive as you can be towards yourself. I definitely need more of this..

2. What is your favorite way to pamper yourself?

I love a nice hot shower/bath, with lots of candles everywhere. Then to lather myself in pretty potions and creams. Then a cosy night in with my boyfriend watching movies, maybe a glass of wine. I feel quite pampered then :)

3. What are your three favorite hobbies/pastimes that make your soul feel on fire?

1. Creating my own art, in whatever way I feel like. Whether it's photographing something, painting, making a collage. It puts me in my happy place.
2. Having a really fun night out with my friends. Whenever we go out for a few drinks, it always turns into a really hilarious night and makes me so happy. I have the best memories from random nights out.

3. Going to live music gigs. Whether big or small time bands, I love it. Small gigs are much better and more intimate, but I don't mind if it's worth squeezing between thousands of people to catch a glimpse of my favourite music artists. Sharing that experience with other fans is awesome.

4. What movie always puts you in a good mode when you're not in the greatest mood?

The Little Mermaid, Without a Paddle, Harry Potter (any), Bridesmaids, Role Models, anything funny.

(I have other absolute faves of all time, but they aren't necessarily 'feel good' films)

5. Who do you trust so much that you would easily believe in anything and everything they said?

Gary and my very, very closest friends.

6. What quote totally motivates you?

'Live as if you'll die tomorrow, dream as if you'll live forever'.
Sums it up perfectly for me.

7. When was the last time you took yourself on a date? What did you do?

Last night :) I got cuddled up in bed by myself (Gary was in work), made myself a hot chocolate and watched The Fault In Our Stars. Cried a lot! haha.

8. What make-up or beauty products makes you feel like a million bucks?

Any lipsticks! And highlighters always perk me up and make me feel princessy haha. I love when my nails are done pretty too. And if my hair is having a great day, I am too haha. Not a specific product for that, but yeah..

9. What is the last thing you did for someone else that made you feel amazing?

Well I won't say amazing by any means, but I felt nice posting a little birthday card to Danielle (who tagged me in this!) and I feel lovely to have swapped addresses with another gorgeous blogger too, who I consider a friend. I like sending things in the post to people, especially if it makes them smile. Oh, and I didn't do this with the intention of anything - but when I wrote my 'When Your Best Friend Is Gay' post, it made my friend Charlie really happy and she was so sweet about it. So that was lovely. I'd say that felt amazing.

10. Do you feel comfortable with and without make-up on?

Nahh not really. I feel naked without it haha. I will do it, I'm not overly obsessed with it. But if I have the time to put makeup on, I certainly will.

11. What piece of advice would you give a child about to grow up with the pressures of today's media and its crushing expectations?

Be yourself, and love others for who they are as people. You can't go wrong. I'm gonna shower my kids with love and teach them to love themselves in a healthy way too.

12. What song puts you in a good mood every time?

I actually have one specific song I call my 'Happy Song', and if I say to Gary to play my Happy Song, he knows which one I mean. It's The Cure - Just Like Heaven. This song brings back SO many happy memories for me with specific people, at a fantastic time in my life. If I could go back and live in that year (around 2006/2007 I think) I would be happy forever. I was SO chilled out and had no anxiety issues, and the bestest friends who I seen EVERY DAY. And it was before I got screwed up by horrible boys, before my Dad died.. everything. The only bad bit is I hadn't met Gary yet. But dear god otherwise that song basically captures the best time of my life.

13. What is the best advice someone gave you or you realized about life?

I can't think of specific words of advice but I know that being around certain people has inspired me and shaped me so much. When you surround yourself with good people, you always learn from them. You learn who the real good people are in your life and they continue to teach you and help you grow over the years.

14. Who makes you giggle like a giggle monster?

Gary and Charlie.

15. What is something about society that bugs you that you wish didn't?

I can think of lots that bug me. But it's harder to think of ones I wish didn't.

I seriously can't think of an example! There are lots of things that bug me, but I think they're totally justified.

16. What is one of your favorite things to do on the weekends?

Well weekends mean Gary is in work so my favourite thing is to hang with friends :) Chill out, have lots of laughs and feel silly.

17. What is something you're really proud of that you've done?

Oh god I dunno :( I'm proud of all the times I've been brave and done something I'm scared of, even if it's small and insignificant to others.

18. What is one of your favorite memories with one of your friends?

I was talking about favourite memories with someone the other day, and we ended up laughing for like an hour at some. There are so many! I value my time at College a hell of a lot, I had the funnest memories with so many friends during that time. Parties, birthdays, nights out - my favourite memories usually revolve around these.

19. What advice would you give someone who needs a boost in confidence?

Hmm. I'm probably not the best person to ask for advice with this. But you know what? Fuck it. Fuck everything that makes you feel like crap, YOU ARE AWESOME! Everyone has something unique about them and something that people value, so remember that when you feel down. Whenever I feel a bit low or self conscious, I remember I have a hot and loving boyfriend, friends who seems to love me and who are awesome, and a very lucky life sometimes. It's not perfect but nobody's is and you have to remember you are important, and loved.

20. Lastly, how do you plan on investing in self-love?

Reminding myself as often as I can, that I am worthy of love. Being kinder to myself :)

I tag Aisling, Claire, and Rebecca - IF they want to do this of course.

Or feel free for anybody to use this tag! :)

I really enjoyed doing this tag!